Superior knowledge

It appears I'm amassing superior knowledge about pain. A very specific kind of pain. And this isn't personal knowledge. It's what I observe.
We're two weeks and two days post surgery and the patient seems in more pain than before. Which is saying something.
Since I traffic in shallow knowledge it wasn't until today that I goggled "clonidine neurological pain relief. " It reduced me to tears.
There's certainly a lot to be said for adding this to the cocktail of pain meds sloshing around in Ken's pain pump. The FDA-approved drug (but we all know about the FDA's track record) has shown dramatic results in relieving neuropathic pain where other meds have proven too weak for the task.
But he's experiencing the same kind of pain he experienced 11 years ago when the initial tumor and two cysts were removed from his spinal column and we began this journey of pain meds, surgeries, physical therapies, braces, chiropractors, massages, acupuncture and prayer.
He's unable to be on his feet longer than 2 minutes. When he stands his back feels like a block of wood. Numb. Hot. His feet are constantly burning, hurting. His legs wobbly. Stinging. And this is after our second increase of the pain mix trickling down his spine bathing it in what is supposed to be relief.
It takes time, we've been told. These are normal reactions, we've been told.
But week two in bed seems an odd normal. Although last night when Ken couldn't stand, the odd normal seemed preferable to the new new normal.
There's an odd desperation to going to the computer and googling meds and then weeping.
You don't want to have to google medical terms and meds except as a lifeline to someone playing a high stakes game of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Not who just wants her husband to be able to sit and walk again.